Happy Valentine's Day... my story on love

Happy Valentine's Day.  

I know Valentine's Day can be hard.  And, I was there for years... up until I was 25.  I tried dating in college and while living in NYC, but it was so hard.  I give everyone out there in the dating scene so much credit!  It is such a game these days.  What to text, when to text, people expecting things from you, or just vanishing after a few dates with no explanation as to why.  My self esteem after those years was shaken.  

I remember sitting with my family for Easter dinner in 2014.  My twin announced her engagement to her boyfriend, Nick, of 7 years!!!, my little sister announced her knew job as a nurse at NYU, and I proudly stated I got into medical school and may potentially have crohn's disease.  My mom a year later told me she was so happy for me, but also nervous that with this disease it would be even harder to meet someone.      

Aren't these sooo cute... my mom got me them haha.
 This is my desk this morning.  The card is from my amazing
Aunt who I love so much too! Although this is a story
 about my romantic love life, I have always
been blessed to have thee unconditional love of my family!

After soul searching for years I realized medical school was my dream.  So, I left a good career as a Dietitian and even though I was sick, I started medical school in August 2014.  It was busy and stressful, but there were moments of fun.  Two months before leaving NYC I did kind of meet a guy.  But, looking back I use the term "fake dating."  I never told him I was sick or anything personal (that was my strategy from experience dating in NYC) and although we said we would try to make it work in medical school, it fizzled out. 

Then, I met this guy named Mike in my medical school class while at a volunteering event.  He met me and friends for brunch the next day and came to Trader Joes with me to go grocery shopping.  I remember think he is cute, but the last thing I need right now is to date.  I also made some great friends.  One of which did not like Mike very much.  I think between the drama of that and knowing I was getting sicker, I realized dating was not a good idea at that time.

As the excitement of starting medical school dwindled and the stress built, my crohn's got worse.  My stomach was hurting constantly and although my steroid regimen was increased, my weight continued to drop.  By November, I was 89 pounds, with a round face, bulgy eyes, and a buda belly from all the steroids.  I felt like I looked like Golem from Lord of the Rings.  Myself esteem was beyond low.

Though all of this Mike was patient.  He always asked if I needed anything and was there for me, but never to the point of being pushy.  Mike always says I kept in at arms length like the Heisman Trophy.  Do you blame me?  Who wants to share with a guy you like that you are popping constantly, or have a stricture and are constipated, that you have gone for three scopes just in that year, or that you can't eat because everything hurts... any of that stuff! 

But, he was patient.  After awhile, I started to share what was going on.  Instead of running the other direction, he stayed.  He stayed when I had to prep for scopes.  He never made me feel embarr
 assed if we needed to leave a party because my stomach hurt or that we never went out to eat because I was scared how my stomach would react.  He stayed when I had to give myself injections and even scheduled a timer in his phone so that I would not forget to take it (which he stills does ;))  For the first time, I did not feel alone.  

I am so glad I let him in and shared what was going on in my life.  It was scary that's for sure, but it was worth it because I know I have met the love of my life.  

My point of this long story is love happens when you least expect.  But, until then learn to love yourself.  Find out what you want in life and take care of yourself because when it does come you want to be ready to let it in.  

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

XO

~ Christina